Some Guys Have All The Luck

So, it's that time of year again.

You know, the time where you get all excited. Where you make a special trip to visit the jolly old man, take off all your clothes, and prepare for the ultimate in feeling exposed?!

You know. My yearly visit to the doctor. The routine 'maintenance and oil check, complete with dipsticks?!' I mean, although Santa may ALSO see me when I'm sleeping and awake (and showering?), I don't recall him donning latex gloves (fur covered or not) and going THAT far south.

I had my first physical/girl check-up with my new doctor. Funny, my new doctor is also my Stake President. And funnier yet, he also lives a block away. Funniest of all, I'd still prefer that doctor over my doctor from Calgary, whom I didn't particularly like AT. ALL.

So, wanna know the BEST part of this whole story? *evil laugh* hee hee hee

I also booked Will in for his first physical in years. MUAHAHAHA. WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE! tee hee.

So, you'll have to find the humour when he tells me "I'm not looking forward to this, you know, some old dude putting things up my butt". HA!!!

"NO one looks FORWARD to it!", I reply, a bit of a dirty smile on my face. My heart bled for him. I've had some old dude sticking things up inside me for years. Boo hoo.

So, at the office, I did my thing. I'm laying there, in all my birthing glory, when the special light breaks. Um. awkward. While the doctor tries to fix it, I just... well.. lay there, stare at the ceiling, and, well, wait. Not like I can go anywhere. Make small talk? Somehow, "pretty cold out, eh" just seemed like a wrong thing to say at that moment. I giggle, thinking, maybe Will thought the same thing over in HIS appointment.

Now, although this whole POST is TMI, here's added info you didn't ask for: I have a difficult-to-locate cervix. Lucky me, right? So, use your imagination when I tell you that EVERY SINGLE YEAR I am not only duck-billed, but I'm VIOLATED as they poke and scoop and twist around that speculum trying to locate my inners. And, although I warned him that it was hard to find, I have to take their word for it when they tell me what it looks like; I didn't recall ASKING, but thanks for the late-breaking news flash.

So, finally, once I'm done for the year, and things that need to be tested will be tested, etc, I met up with Will, who's done his appointment right about when I am.

I, admittedly excitingly, ask him how it went 'in there'. he he he

"Was it everything you'd hoped for?" *sly smile*

He tells me that he didn't have to be man-violated.
WHAT?!





Lucky bum.