Little Lyssie

It seems like ALL my posts lately have been about one thing:

The blessing of children in my life. May is a big month for birthdays. My sister, CC, just had her own little babe, on the same day as my OTHER niece was born.. And, this year, I decided to blog about my children on their birthdays. So far, though, all three of them have been my imports. But today is LL's 9th birthday... my firstborn child.

LL was born on a beautifully, sunny Friday. Just so happened it was moving day, too, and that was NOT part of the plan of moving! We had a homebirth (planned) and it was a GREAT experience. A healthy baby girl gave us the best housewarming gift one could ever hope for.

LL is flambouyant. She's loud. She's confident. She silly. She wants to be grown up and enjoys talking with other adults. Even when she tells them EVERY. THING! (like, when she went to all our neighbours in Calgary and told them that her mother was going to be on an X-RATED Tv show...not X-weighted! Woops. Good thing I had good neighbours!) She's bossy and agressive. Because of this, she tends to have a tough time making friends, but to those she has become friends with, she is SUPER loyal. She's social. She is competitive, a trait that enables her to do well at EVERYTHING. LL is the kind of girl who is easy to find-- she's where the laughter, the noise and the action are.

I love the fact that she is a bit of a perfectionist, at school and at church she is always striving to please her teachers and help. If you need a pick-me-up, Little Lyssie likes to be hugged and wrestled with-- a true "physical touch" type of girl.

She is a HUGE help. Having been the oldest for so many years, she is dependable and loves babies. She could seriously spend an entire day with a baby and never tire! She loves being a big sister, loves drawing (if you're missing some white paper, you'll find enough for an entire TREE in her room!) and singing. She can carry any tune quite proficiently, and has recently LOVED having piano lessons from Gramma. She has a testimony that puts adults to shame-- sometimes she's even chastized me on not doing something that is in agreeance with our faith. She's true to her beliefs, and is not afraid to stand up for what she knows to be just and true.

I truly love LL. Probably because she's sooooo much like I was at her age, only a million times better. She's a darling girl, a blessing to our family.

Happy Birthday, My Little Lyssie!

Wanna play along?!

I'm having one of those days.

Technically, this day kinda built up to being one of "those days". And, as much as I should try to punch everyone in the face stay all positive and optimistic, it's just not going to work today.

So, I'm gonna play the blame game. We all LOVE the blame game!

Let's just *starts singing* blame it on the rain (yah yah). Don't think you won't have that song in your head all day! Muahahaha. You're welcome.

It has been raining for two days now. People are getting flooded basements. And last night, as Will was working on the house (can I get a woop woop!?) we realized that our roof has a leak. Good times. And the rain hasn't stopped. So, that leak??? Yah, STILL leaking. I must say, in the midst of all the dirt and dust, the ceiling is starting to look really good though.

Let's blame it on the rain that everybody is tired today. Because, I don't know about anyone else, but I sleep SOOOOO well when I can hear the rain outside. A little white noise or something, and I'm out. Which then turns into "Debbi's sleeping so soundly that she starts to dream really ridiculous things ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT" and thus I wake slightly MORE tired than when I went to bed, I'm sure. Getting out of bed when there is no light streaming through the windows is tough. Getting out of a WARM bed to a rainy day is tougher. Getting out of bed to have to go outside immediately to pick up some daycare kids... REALLY sucky. I got there, and everyone at THAT house had also slept in so I had to help them get ready. Which really isn't that big of a deal to me. I thought I'd just complain about it like it was.

Blame it on the rain that I have been feeling really self-conscious lately. Just the thought that I can't fit into ALL of my pants a certain pair of pants. The thought of seeing someone beautiful and wishing you had her lips, or her eyes, or her butt! Not that I was checking out some girl's butt.. I mean... uh... just sayin'...so... uh..yah..

Blame it on the rain that I feel VERY house-bound, which in turn, makes me feel very small-town-bound and a tad resentful of the community that I live in. Which is a good community. But grrrrrr to not being able to walk through a dry, warm mall and windowshop just to get out of the house.

Blame it on the rain for crappy messages from people. Or for my inability to get over the messages. Or for Mimi breaking my wall clock by accident. Or for kittens crapping on my floor behind my sofa. And stinking up my house-- one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.... I hate stinky houses.

Blame the rain for the possibility of snow, and the fact that I have to drive my kids to Calgary tomorrow to see their Dad for the first time since MARCH! And, you know, not to complain or anything, but I'm SO SICK of hearing about "Chris Daddy", and how much they miss him. I have to stay neutral and pleasant, but I just want to shout SHUDDUP ABOUT DADDY CHRIS ALREADY!!! I don't want to hear about him. Not because it hurts, or because we're angry at each other, or because the kids have said certain things, but because I just don't have the energy to deal with them missing him so badly. To put them to bed each night and answer "I don't know" when they ask when they'll see him again, and to see the hope in their eyes die a little each time I answer. And I don't have the energy not to snap at Chris himself because of how much him being gone hurts the kids... even though him being away isn't really his fault. Although they are definitely bonding more to Will, often just referring to him as "Dad" (instead of "Will" or even "Daddy Will"). Them missing their Dad is something Will OR I can't replace. And my heart hurts for that.

Blame the rain for my frizzy hair. I dyed it last night. Well, I taught Em how to dye it. RED. Because I think red hair is fun, and feisty and I was ready for a bit of a change. I'm not used to looking in the mirror yet, and if I don't like it after a week, I can always change it back. But Will likes it. It's like he's sleeping with THIS: (who doesn't wanna channel their inner Bree Vandecamp anyways?! ;) I mean...uh...what I was trying to say was...um...yah...I think I hear my Mom calling... I've had fun being several colours ;)

(the blonde a.k.a Summer me)

(the dark a.k.a Winter me)

(the red a.k.a.FIESTY me)

Tuesday Tunes- New To Me

I love good songs. And lately, I've been big into new music. Well, at least, new to me. THANKS for some of my blog (AND IRL) friends, they've introduced new music to me.

I went for a run this morning-- the brisk 6 am air in my lungs. The road to Waterton was quiet, nothing but the sounds of birds and the occasional mooing of a cow in the background. The mountains, perfectly snowcapped against a bright blue sky, and it was so peaceful. BUT, it was a little more quiet than I prefer. I found it hard to stay on pace. I sure miss my music on the iPod that was stolen in the van in Vancouver.

Music touches the soul. That's not news to anyone who reads this blog (or Daisyhalos). I really react to a good melody with poignant words, or a beat with a catchy chorus.

So, if you need a few new songs, or a refresher on a few ones I like listening to lately, click on a few below!

Just Let Me Cry- Hilary Weeks. Thanks, Suze, for sharing on your blog. Hilary Weeks isn't new to me, but I've never heard this song. I LOVE IT! I think I love it because it brings back so much of how I felt in the years past. I really feel like she took my heartwords from 2 years ago, and put them into perfect harmony with a tune that I adore! I can't help but think of Claudine or Alison, two girlfriends currently going through their own divorces. Girls, I'm living proof that it does get better!!

Money Is Not A Thing- The Mile After Just a new-to-me band I like.

Colder Months- Alpha Rev, If A Song Could Get Me You- Merit Larsen. Courtesy of RamSam. :)


And, of course, a song to run and dance to.

Hello, Good Morning- Diddy. It sounds like Carry Out with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, but still, I like it.

Anyways, off to the mountains to help Will with some painting, to spend some time with three little munchins (Mimi, my niece and my cousin's kid), and await the impending arrival of my sister's baby.

NOT ME Monday- Naughty Knots

NOT being a holiday Monday, Motown is NOT covered in Canadian Flags, and the stores down main street are NOT all quiet! A whopping two shops are NOT open: the LDS bookstore and the grocery store/gardening centre. And, the local minor soccer league is NOT having a full day of make-up games from our snowed-out games earlier this season. So, I'm NOT off to soccer with the three littlest kids from 1 until 6:30!!!


In true NOT-ME fashion, this is my conversation earlier. Getting Mimi ready for her soccer games today:


Mimi: OUCH!! My hairs has lots of knots!
Me: yes it does! (giggles) You could have been less NAUGHTY and brushed it this morning, Meems.
Mimi: I don't like knots.
Me: No. They hurt. They are not very fun, are they?
Mimi: NO! Knots is KNOT fun!

A Decade of a REALLY great thing!

There's a lot of really GREAT things that have happened since May 2000. Like, it was a leap year that started on a Saturday-- the FIRST leap year of a century since 1600. It was the International Year for the Culture of Peace. If you were there, you remember staying glued to your TV, waiting to see if the world ended and massive blackouts occurred as the Y2K scare had the world in its throes. Vladimir Putin was elected. George W. Bush was elected president of the US. Sony launched the Playstation 2.

In May itself, the BILLIONTH person living in India was born. In fact, there was a HUGE surplus of people giving birth in 2000, all trying to deliver a Millennium baby.

Yes. Many GREAT things happened. Many babies were born.

But, to me, ONE great thing happened above the others. One baby was born that is a bit closer to my heart.

Grace, aptly named, was born on this day, ten years ago.

Grace is the youngest of my imports. She's got a bit of baby mixed with a bit of big sister.. a WONDERFUL combination in any child. Grace is just that-- full of grace. She's smiling ALL. THE. TIME. She's bubbly and happy. Her mother has other children younger than her, but as Will's youngest birth child, she's got her Daddy wrapped around her finger, and doesn't like to be without him by her side.

Grace, adorably, has a little "brooklyn" girl accent. Well, more like a Bwooklyn Gull accent. I remember when I first met her, and we talked for a bit. She said, in her little way, " I like that you can understand me." When I asked her why that seemed like such a big deal, she replied that most people make fun of her accent. It was such a darling little thing to say, since then I have always made sure not to make fun of the way she says things. It's her thing. Her magic.

She doesn't say much about anything. She's more quiet than LL, and even though they're only nearly EXACTLY a year apart, they're VERY different little gulls. ;) She tries too hard to be her big sister's twin, and my heart aches a little every time. Not because Em is a bad kid, but because my little Grace is still only 10 and I don't want her to grow up too fast. And then, in the same breath, she and LL play together sometimes REALLY well, and I remember that she's so much younger than sometimes my expectations tend to make of her.

Grace is tender. She rarely says a mean word. She's careful with her siblings, she's a SUPER big sister. In spite of a million changes in her life in the past few years, both at her father's house and at her mother's house, she seems to come across as a pleasant and optimistic beauty.

Grace is simply the embodiment of Love. It is easy for her to love, and it is easy to love her!

Happy 10th Birthday, my Grace!

Six Word Saturday

Yes, I'm back to play Six Word Saturday with Cate at showmyface.com. You should play along on your blog too, or, better yet, put YOUR six words in the comments below!

Girl-only party at my house!!!

A different type of To-Do lists

Yesterday, my great uncle passed away. He was in his 100th year, and his beautiful, loving wife was there beside him, 100 years old, too.

My sister, Lola, posted THIS SONG as a tribute to him on her facebook page. And, this is the year I turn 30. Which makes me think of THIS song. It got me thinking. With movies like "The Bucket List", and the songs above, what would I wish I had done if I knew my life was ending? What's MY bucket list?

My list isn't very extensive... I've done so many things in my life that hardly anybody else gets to do. But there's a few things I would still like to do. And a few things I would NOT!

On the NOT list:

• Skydive. I'm not afraid of heights, I'm only afraid of falling. I hate that sensation-- like, in those rides at an amusement park where they take you up a big pole and then the ride plummets to the ground? Why anyone thinks that fake-falling-to-your-death is something FUN, is beyond me!!! So, skydiving is high on my list of NOs. (dija catch that pun!? ;P )
• Swim with sharks. I've seen too many movies with killer sharks. Or even documentaries that show the guy in a cage and the shark practically attacks the cage and kills the guy. Yah, sounds fun. People are NOT bait. I don't like that game.

On the DO list. This one's much more extensive.

• Become a nurse
• See ALL the wonders of the world. I've seen Niagara Falls.
• Drive along route 66 in the USA, singing Manhattan Transfer the whole time! ;)
• Visit Every continent
• own a farm. Chickens, goats, horses, cows.
• Climb Mount Everest
• travel into space
• work humanitarian aide in a third world country as a nurse
• serve a mission
• visit EuroDisney, the only Disney theme park I haven't visited yet.
• Visit EVERY province and state in Canada and the USA.
• backpack through Europe
• drive a husky sled
• learn how to golf, and do it proficiently
• learn Spanish and Sign Language and Japanese better
• Visit a castle in England, Scotland and Ireland
• Swim across a lake
• run a marathon
• be a valedictorian
• save a life using CPR
• ride a train
• read 100 books of classic literature
• read the bible, cover to cover
• take my children to the Palmyra pageant
• visit every temple in the American Continents
• Celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary with Will
• fold 1000 paper cranes
• play all the hymns and children's hymns perfectly on the piano, play the guitar
• speak in front of 10 000 people or more
• go without ALL TV for a year

In reading online for other people's bucket lists, I realized that I had already done a lot of things people say they'd like to do. Which is a cool realization! I've lived in another country for 6 months. I've seen Japanese Cherry Blossoms. I've seen the northern lights. I've done so many things!

What's on YOUR bucket list? What should I still put on mine?

Don't throw your junk in my backyard.

I have a HUGE backyard. LIKE, huge. Those who have been to my home here in Motown know what I'm talking about.

Sure, it's not as big as some other people's backyards. Motown has a LOT of huge backyards. I've gone for walks with Will and we would walk past other people and their yards and our eyes would bug out in shock. And, sure enough, there are also a few small backyards. But mine? It's fairly large. Just sayin'. :)

In Cowtown I spent a LOT of time on my backyard. My girlfriends and I would gather round in my yard, laughing and spending some quality time together. I'd keep the lawn tidy. I'd cover it in flowers and occasionally you'd find fertilizer on it. :) It wasn't always a GREAT backyard, but, funny enough, once Chris and I split, I spent a LOT of time working on that yard. Amazingly enough, I learned to love my backyard. It was gorgeous. :)

I moved here and now own a backyard that, according to the neighbours, was REALLY lovely at one point in time, but has since gone to pot. So, I'm working on getting it back in shape-- mowing the lawn, decorating it again with flowers, and spending time with Will planting seeds.

Hopefully by the end of the summer, my backyard will be in a much better shape than it is currently, and I will, once again, have a backyard to be proud of. A backyard my friends won't be afraid to be around!

What kind of backyard did you THINK I was talking about?! ;)

I'd give you some food for thought, but we have nowhere to cook it!

I haven't figured it out yet-

I don't have a job...well, not REALLY. I mean, I'm a mom, and I work very occasionally with my mother-in-law, and I help Will paint some days, and yes, once or twice a week I watch kids.

So, how is my house so messy? How is my journal unwritten for a few weeks? How is my scale moving in the wrong direction?

And how the heck has my blog suffered? Like, honestly, I got SO MUCH MORE done in Cowtown when I ran a full daycare, when I was home all day. I had a clean(er) house, I made money, I got stuff done, I had a meticulous yard (most of the time) and I blogged nearly every day-- sometimes twice.

Is waking at 6am really all that I need to do? Because, as good and well as that sounds-- it's just NOT gonna happen. I wake with Will at about 7:30, groggily pull my lazy butt out of the warm bed, and wake the kids. Then, mom-of-the-year goes BACK TO BED while they eat and get dressed. Sure, I'm up to watch them leave and say goodbye (and make sure they're not wearing mismatched socks or t-shirts in the snow), but it takes hours before I get around to attacking the mess of this house.

Maybe it's just because we're so upintheair regarding our home renovations.

Although it's just a kitchen, it really isn't JUST a kitchen. A kitchen is the heart of a home, usually. It's a homework room. A discipline room. A spot for company to gather, where neighbours gather and families laugh together. A spot for children to play with playdough and crayons. It's a place where we actually SEE our teenagers (briefly) before they disappear again into the abyss of their rooms with their paws full of something fried and microwaved. And since tearing down the walls that separate the kitchen from the front room, our home is one BIG, happy, one-room mess.

And it's overwhelming. I mean, I can keep it tidy. But CLEAN!? How do you clean a mess? And, better yet, WHY would you try? How do you vacuum underlay without it shredding each time? How do you clean a cooktop that burns everything and an oven that starts things on fire? It's just gonna get messy again. Wires hanging from the ceiling and poking out of the floor boards, and floating sinks and dishwashers on wheels...

Why clean it?

So it begs the question- if the renos were done, would I seriously have a cleaner house? Would I get to know my neighbours better? Would I bake or cook more? Would I find time to be outside, tending a messy garden or talking walks? Would I spend more time with Mimi? Would I get into school? Would I stop feeling a horrible twang of 'baby-itch'? Would I make friends? Would I visit with family more, serve more, learn more?

Would I blog more?

T. G. I. F.

TGIF= Thank goodness it's Friday. So that I can be DEAD tired from the rest of the week. And so I can have my kids come home after a half-day here (each Friday in Motown, school is out at 1 pm). TGIF so I can watch other people's kids. That one I really AM thankful for-- I've really missed having a dayhome, and although it's only one or two kids every week or so, it's something that brings me a bit of "me" again... the me before "Motown Me."

TGIF= The Gift I Favour. Mother's Day is three days away. I thought I'd give a heads-up into what I want the most! ;) Well, who are we kidding-- I want a LOT of things! Nothing really that earth-shattering.... you know-- a computer that doesn't have viruses. A house that magically renovates itself. Kids that don't fight or cry or yell or make messes. But mostly? Yes, mostly I want these!!!!! Maybe not pink, but then again-! In actuality, I've thought a LOT about these, but still can't bring myself to do it. They so dang ugly. I love me a Sketcher, but this is a bit outta my comfort range.

TGIF= Totally Gorging. I'm Fat!! I am glad the show is over for another reason-- I can start running at nights again. I know it's better for me to run in the mornings, but, frankly, I watch Mimi all day, and my nighttime runs relax me and help me wind-down from the daily chores. I haven't started running again, like I thought I would this week. But hopefully the next few days do NOT include the massive amounts of snow and I won't have to wear parkas and mukluks just to run around town.

TGIF= The Guy I Fondle. haha.

TGIF= The Goal Is Forever. Being married takes work-- that's not news to anyone. But this marriage, albeit new, has so many 'olds' in it, that we're working on making the 'olds' part of our "new", all the while, ditching others. It's a delicate balancing act to ask the questions that are bothering you, but to ask them in ways that don't offend or fear the other person. When Will or I are afraid of our pasts coming back to hurt us, oftentimes we instill that fear into the other person, just by saying those thoughts. It's really hard to be able to balance the right amount of therapeutical talk with things that just should never be said. Our fears over adultery and faithfulness sometimes drive our conversations into dangerous territory of "what ifs" and "would you evers". They stop immediately, because I firmly believe, in learning from my last marriage, that true love doesn't have time for "what ifs" or "would you evers". I had wayyyy too many of those talks with Chris, and, maybe there's some truth to The Secret, in The Law of Attraction being justifiably proven. When you are really, surely, honestly in love, there doesn't need to be those talks, because in reality, you both know it's not going to happen. Perfect love casteth out fear.

Curtain Called

So, the costumes are washed and hung up, the lights are off, the stage is demolished, and half of my kids STILL have not seen the "original" Sound Of Music on TV yet. But, the play is done. :)

In talking with most people now that life is back to chaos normal routine, there's always the question, "do you miss it?".

Do I miss having no clean laundry? no!

Do I miss not ever seeing my lover, Dyson vacuum? no! (well, KINDA-- I mean, I'd like my floors to stay clean WITHOUT needing to do the WORK of vacuuming)

Do I miss never tucking in the kids at night? No!

Do I miss being absent for every dinner? No!

Do I miss chalking my face up with war paint stage makeup every.single.day. and drying out like a prune? no.

Do I miss playing so much "catch up" during the day that I was away from all communication from my friends and family, feeling like a lonely goatherd, and out of touch with the rest of the world? No.

Do I miss being away from my home for 6 hours a night, crashing into bed, and never snuggling connecting with Will? NO NO NO!!! ;) I mean, how can love survive like that?!

(LATE one night, still both in our makeup!)

Do I miss watching my late-night TV with Will and Em? no

Do I miss my favourite things: friends? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

It's been sooo nice to be back home. To know that I don't have to go out later on. Or make dinner by a certain time in order to make things easier on Em. I loved having time to get organized again. Even though this house is FAR from organized lately, at least my mess is now in proper "I'm a mess" piles.

(A month or two ago..although lots has happened since then, this is pretty much my life lately!)

Night times, we gather in a circle for family prayers and the sound of music fills the house. It's awesome. I missed that.

The play was fun. I made some really great friends. Will and I were part of the party scene where the kids sing "So Long, Farewell" as dancers and party guests. I even got to put makeup on him EVERY NIGHT! tee hee.

(Will and I as 'party guests' during the play)

Will scoffed at the whole thing at first, but, although he'd vehemently deny any part of enjoying it, I have confidence that by the end of it, he had a good time. Cuz really, how many times does a man get to kiss a nun? Now we'll have time to take trips with the kids to Waterton, trying to climb every mountain. Now we can finish the house. We can plant a garden, filled with daisies and roses and edelweiss.
No, I do not miss the play. But I do look forward to the next one! ;)

At Fifteen

Yesterday, I had a huge reason to be thankful:

My eldest (import) daughter, Em, turned 15. I can't believe I'm the mother to a 15 year-old teenager. Holy weird. I sound like my mother when I say I feel like I was 15 only a few years ago.. The only difference between my mother's words and mine, is it actually WAS only a few years ago. So many times I think that I'm not that much older than Em, but the weirder part is that, this year, I turn TWICE her age! LOL



15 was a huge year for me. Because of that, my heart aches and jumps for joy and the things she's going to experience this year-- both the good and bad. The memories she'll make. The lessons she'll learn. The imprint she'll continue to make in my life.



Em is amazing. She has the heart of her father-- sensitive, emotional, easily offended, and willing to lay her life down for other's happiness even at the expense of her own sometimes. She is fun and vibrant, and like any teenage girl, goes from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows within one single conversation.



I know sometimes she hates me and I'm ruining her life. :) I'm an evil stepmother, it's my job. But I know she loves me too. When she calls me "Mom", there is no better thing she could say to me.



Em is the best big sister my girls could have ever imagined. She's a great example of honesty-- and although I'm the much smarter mother than mine was :) and I catch her in most of them, she hardly ever lies to us. Even when she knows it's not something we want to hear. She confides in me, she respects me, and she obeys me. For not being my biological daughter, this is a huge display of love. I'm so lucky to be one of her two mothers.



She recently watched the kids EVERY. DAY. for two weeks while Will and I were part of the play. She fed them dinner, she got them into bed, she kept them safe and dealt with their nightly fights and their separation anxiety while I was never home. Without a doubt, she's beautiful inside and out... turning heads of young men everywhere she goes. Yikes.



I love Em to pieces. She's lived with me since September, and I admit that because of that I am closer to her than to her other full-siblings. But that's just expected. She's seen me cry, seen me get angry, seen me yell, but she's also seen me hug. and love. and pray. She is a daughter ANYONE would be proud of.

Happy 15th Em!!!! xoxo