Pardon the french, but this pussy is driving us nuts!

So, you know how we have the most awesome cat?


......

Actually, seriously, WHO STARTS A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT?! Unless you're 40 years old and never been married, wearing a flowered moomoo and feeding 10 cats pre-chewed food from your mouth,who honestly is THAT much of a cat person?!

Anywhoozle, we have this cat, Mitzy, who pretty much adopted US. When we moved here, we had no pets. And, would have LIKELY gotten a dog. But this one cat decided that it was going to live with us, even if is would have to die on the front porch to prove it. After a WEEK of ignoring this cat-- not feeding it, not playing with it, not letting it in-- I caved and let her come in. She walked right over to the couch, and took a nap! From then, I figured the kids would drive her away-- Mimi is NOT a 'small lover' to cats. She embodies the whole, "I wanna Love You! And SQUEEZE YOU!! And call you George. "

Since then, Mitzy's been a GREAT cat. We didn't know anything about her, where she came from or why such a nice, gentle cat was homeless. And soon enough, we figured out that she REALLLLLY likes boy cats.

Now we have two little ADORABLE kittens. One that looks just like her, and one that looks just like Dad-- black with a white nose and paws. Thankfully, they also have two little ADORABLE homes to go to!

However...

Our prized cat?

Well, love her to pieces, but the little tramp is trying yet again to find herself some playmates. I come home daily to find two big black cats fighting on my front step, trying to be the lucky babydaddy of the next litter. And we all KNOW she goes for the black dudes. I mean, once you go black....

just sayin'.

AND so, we've kept her and her hormonal self inside.

UNTIL YESTERDAY!!!! Will, love him to pieces too, but he unknowingly left a door open, and the cranky pussy walked right outside with her cranky...self.

To her waiting 'friend'. Stupid little thing with her butt up in the air, whining incessantly for him to "oooooh, look at my bum". He and she managed to find a piece of DIRT in my yard to do the DIRTY.

I walk outside, looking for her. All I see his his big black eyes, and her tiny head underneath him. And a piece of him wagging his tail, while he gets a piece of HER... um...backside.

SO unimpressed!!!

We don't mind having kittens, truth be told. But FREAK-- these ones are still at home, Mitzy! Stop being so Ghetto and get back to the babies you already HAVE in the house.

ug. Teenagers.