Letters say it Betters

Dear Dave.
Firstly, I curse you with a thousand curses of hot grill pans and burning vegetable oil. I am VERY unimpressed with you for STEALING the recipe for a McDonald's Big Mac, and selling it here, in this tiny town of Mo. You may have called it something else, sure, but you're not fooling this fat-prone chick-- I KNOW it's a Big Mac! Which is why I curse you-- I moved somewhere to get AWAY from my horrible obsession with Big Macs, and then, the love of my life introduces me to your yummy 'Biggy D'.
Curses,
Mrs. Likely-to-gain-400lbs-this-week.



Dear Toilet Paper,
I am so glad that you, my favourite Purex brand, are on sale at the local store. Do you know how happy that makes me and my bum? (and making my bum happy is no easy feat!) Honestly, TP, I only let YOU that close to my behind, and you've got to know that's saying a lot!!! I love you so much, that I bought THREE TIMES the 'limit' amount yesterday, coercing my hubby to go through the lane behind me, JUST FOR YOU!!! I can't get enough of you! To all your friends on the shelves still, you can reassure them that I will be there shortly to ensure a hearty year's supply of softness.
forever thankful,
soft bummed me.


Dear Kitchen,
it has been my joy and my bane to watch you progress. I am loving having cupboards again, having running water, having a countertop that isn't made out of wood. Someday, I will enjoy floors I can clean, and electricity!
-Your OWNER

Dear Lovely Daughters of Mine,
To the two of you who share a room here at this house. I really truly appreciate when I can use the "if you're room isn't clean, you can't go see Chris Daddy" bribe (although, only me and your fathers know that threat isn't ever going to be followed through). But, what I don't appreciate is when I go to pack your "Chris Daddy" bags, you, my lovelies, have shoved ALL THE CLEAN LAUNDRY that was on the floor, into the dirty clothes hamper! This, in spite of it seriously irritating me and Daddy Will who knows how much work it was to clean them in the first place, wouldn't be so bad if I could just gather them out of the hamper and put them away. But what REALLY gets under my sunburnt skin, is that you've USUALLY put some dirty, wet towel or swimsuit ON TOP of these clothes. Making them stink. And wet. And NOT clean, yet still freaking folded! I am NOT sorry for this last time making me SO irate that I then threw the clothes all over the room.
No. I am not 4 years old.



Dear Laundry,
GO *4-letter F word* YOURSELF!
(fold, obviously!)


Dear Tropical Island.
You've been a penpal long enough, and it's apparently NEEDED(from the letters above) that we meet in person. SOON. If it isn't too much of a hassle, can I please request a few things? First of all, I would really like it if you found some extra room at your place for Will, too. And NOT ENOUGH ROOM for anyone else. If you decided that children aren't allowed on your island, that would be okay with me. Because, I don't want to bring mine since they annoy me so easily, but I SURE AS HECK don't want other people to bring theirs!!!! Secondly, I want to ensure that there is FULL room service (including laundry!). Third of all, I do NOT want to see any renovations going on in the ENTIRE island. It must be perfect, finished, and functional. And I want to ensure that there are NO McDonald's nearby. Thanks.
Sincerely,
A Deteriorated Woman!
PS- You needn't stock the bathrooms with toilet paper- I'm bringing my own!

Six Word Saturday- Hard Hats required

I Live In A Construction Zone.


Sculpturing children, marriage, kitchen and waistband. :)





Play with Cate at www.showmyface.com and share your own 6 words of life.

"Sum it up. Write it down."

I Just Freaking Love My Awesomeness

I was laying in bed last night with Will, and I had an AMAZING moment. No, my perved friends, I'm totally not oversharing.

No, I mean a moment where I actually said something SO not Mom-ish and wifey...something, kinda, sorta, ridiculously awesome. To the point that I actually said out loud, "wow. I'm sooo gonna blog that!"

Will laughed. Probably AT me...no....SURELY *AT* me, since I wasn't laughing and was dead serious. I'm gonna say it was because I had toothpaste on my face and NOT because I sounded like the biggest nerd ever. And the toothpaste on my face-- TOTALLY a blog for another day on "Stupid things you remember from childhood: how to get rid of fat, ugly zits on your face" that your BFF, MC, taught you in highschool. And how, as a nearly 30-year-old Mom of 7, you keep trying it...only to remember that the last time you tried it, it didn't work either. And then you remember it was for hickeys. 'nuff said. And then you remember it worked on hickeys.

TOTALLY ANOTHER BLOG, clearly.

And, as I laid there in my self-inflicted euphoria, I vowed to remember that totally awesome, WONDERFULLY intelligent thing that I said so I could post it. And wouldn'tyaknowit, here I am, with *gasp* time to blog, and frig, trying to remember what it was is like Justin Bieber trying to grow pubic hair..

just sayin....

And, for the record, my brainwave had NOTHING to do with my super-awesome attempt at turning myself into a delicious pastry.. like, for example, um, a muffin or something. Psht, muffin-tops are the best part of the muffins, so I'm going with "I'm the super awesome part of a muffin and if you can't handle it, you can bite me."
No. I would never put a picture of myself in that condition on the web. If you know me, I'm all about making OTHER people the source of my humour. ;)

But, I sit here, afraid to death to sneeze, as I have another bestest friend whom I hate to pieces I love so much! Yep, my OTHER BFF, Becka, decided to show up in town the other day with her sister (whom I also adore) and take some friends out for a quick run and a workout. Which was totally up my alley of "I enjoy being a lazy bum lately". I had gone for an 8k walk the night before, and that morning was the Motown Marathon. (No, it's not ACTUALLY called that, although, it totally works. Although---I think I'm gonna patent that and inflict it on all southern-Alberta towns *who are all MoTowns too* and be really cool like that!) And during the marathon, my little 4-year old Mimi decided she wanted to run the.whole.way. Um, yah, SO not prepared for that.

Sure, I've been running lately. Once or twice a blue moon. And I can run a mile-- seriously. But I just wasn't really that ready.

So, here's Becka. Taking me through the worst workout of "what the fetch happened to my upper arms?!" and then yesterday I spent the day walking and biking with Will.

I.
AM.
SO.
FRIGGEN.
SORE!!

And it's just not right that my woman bits are hurting from biking. What the Kiew???? Will loves biking- wants me to join him more. I'm a walking/running/rollerblading/ripsticking kind of wife. See? Bikes are meant for ages 4-14. After that, it's just not 'cool' anymore. That's why we have cars!!!!
And so what if rollerblades might be sooooo 1990, I don't care. I'm giving them the same comeback that Justin Timberlake gave to sexy. Unfortunately, I think Will's bum on a bike is toooo superb and easy to follow, so I shall don my super-sexy helmet again and follow him. ;)

Don't throw your junk in my backyard.

I have a HUGE backyard. LIKE, huge. Those who have been to my home here in Motown know what I'm talking about.

Sure, it's not as big as some other people's backyards. Motown has a LOT of huge backyards. I've gone for walks with Will and we would walk past other people and their yards and our eyes would bug out in shock. And, sure enough, there are also a few small backyards. But mine? It's fairly large. Just sayin'. :)

In Cowtown I spent a LOT of time on my backyard. My girlfriends and I would gather round in my yard, laughing and spending some quality time together. I'd keep the lawn tidy. I'd cover it in flowers and occasionally you'd find fertilizer on it. :) It wasn't always a GREAT backyard, but, funny enough, once Chris and I split, I spent a LOT of time working on that yard. Amazingly enough, I learned to love my backyard. It was gorgeous. :)

I moved here and now own a backyard that, according to the neighbours, was REALLY lovely at one point in time, but has since gone to pot. So, I'm working on getting it back in shape-- mowing the lawn, decorating it again with flowers, and spending time with Will planting seeds.

Hopefully by the end of the summer, my backyard will be in a much better shape than it is currently, and I will, once again, have a backyard to be proud of. A backyard my friends won't be afraid to be around!

What kind of backyard did you THINK I was talking about?! ;)

T. G. I. F.

TGIF= Thank goodness it's Friday. So that I can be DEAD tired from the rest of the week. And so I can have my kids come home after a half-day here (each Friday in Motown, school is out at 1 pm). TGIF so I can watch other people's kids. That one I really AM thankful for-- I've really missed having a dayhome, and although it's only one or two kids every week or so, it's something that brings me a bit of "me" again... the me before "Motown Me."

TGIF= The Gift I Favour. Mother's Day is three days away. I thought I'd give a heads-up into what I want the most! ;) Well, who are we kidding-- I want a LOT of things! Nothing really that earth-shattering.... you know-- a computer that doesn't have viruses. A house that magically renovates itself. Kids that don't fight or cry or yell or make messes. But mostly? Yes, mostly I want these!!!!! Maybe not pink, but then again-! In actuality, I've thought a LOT about these, but still can't bring myself to do it. They so dang ugly. I love me a Sketcher, but this is a bit outta my comfort range.

TGIF= Totally Gorging. I'm Fat!! I am glad the show is over for another reason-- I can start running at nights again. I know it's better for me to run in the mornings, but, frankly, I watch Mimi all day, and my nighttime runs relax me and help me wind-down from the daily chores. I haven't started running again, like I thought I would this week. But hopefully the next few days do NOT include the massive amounts of snow and I won't have to wear parkas and mukluks just to run around town.

TGIF= The Guy I Fondle. haha.

TGIF= The Goal Is Forever. Being married takes work-- that's not news to anyone. But this marriage, albeit new, has so many 'olds' in it, that we're working on making the 'olds' part of our "new", all the while, ditching others. It's a delicate balancing act to ask the questions that are bothering you, but to ask them in ways that don't offend or fear the other person. When Will or I are afraid of our pasts coming back to hurt us, oftentimes we instill that fear into the other person, just by saying those thoughts. It's really hard to be able to balance the right amount of therapeutical talk with things that just should never be said. Our fears over adultery and faithfulness sometimes drive our conversations into dangerous territory of "what ifs" and "would you evers". They stop immediately, because I firmly believe, in learning from my last marriage, that true love doesn't have time for "what ifs" or "would you evers". I had wayyyy too many of those talks with Chris, and, maybe there's some truth to The Secret, in The Law of Attraction being justifiably proven. When you are really, surely, honestly in love, there doesn't need to be those talks, because in reality, you both know it's not going to happen. Perfect love casteth out fear.

Word Verification, and no, I do NOT need to lose weight! ;)

Okay, so, first off, it's Word Verification Wednesday, where the lovely Jillybean encourages us all to take the little box below your comment and make a word out of it.

*if you're confused, see this post*

Play along as many times as you want. It gets funnier as you go on.


And, I was looking for funny weightloss things on the computer yesterday, and found this. I thought you'd all enjoy watching it-- it made me laugh.

*clickey here*

The weightloss is good-- I'm down a bunch of pounds in the past week, which only reminds me how important diet is. Now that I'm more conscious again of my caloric intake, I can literally FEEL myself losing the extra flabby pounds of junk food. The running still isn't up to par, but one thing at a time. In the past 4 days, I've had 3 different people in this household throw up, so it's been a bit hectic.

But, today is my middle-boy's 12th birthday. The 12th birthday for a boy is pretty significant in the LDS church, because, if they are worthy, they receive the priesthood. My little Taylor will be receiving it this weekend at church, and I thought I'd take a second to better aquiaint you with him.. Besides, a proud mamma ALWAYS has the right to let everyone know what a fantastic kid I've inherited!!

Taylor is the infamous 'cuddle bug'. He will give you hugs and hugs, and never tire. He's super sweet and affectionate, and is honestly the biggest helper in the household! He will be the FIRST person to get up and assist Will or I at whatever we're doing, and he does it with joy and excitement. He wants to be just like his big brother, but has a unique identity that makes me smile. A super football player, Taylor can pretty much do ANYTHING you ask of him and do it with perfection.. He's a SUPER athlete, and will try just about anything once or twice! He likes to fish like his Daddy and Grampa, and he likes to do just about ANYTHING outside.

Happy birthday, Taylor. I love ya! You're an incredible young man and the world could use about a million more of you!

Wednesday Ws- Motown Edition

Who: Will and I
What: have no more real excuses
Where: around these parts
When: anymore
Why: because the holidays are over. Other than the Olympics, which will take Will and I away from home for over 1/2 a month in February YAY!!!, there is no other real reason to procrastinate tearing this house apart. The money stresses me out-- just the thought of buying a million things that aren't cheap (floors, appliances, windows, cupboards, counters, bathtubs...). I know my house will be a hurricane of messy drywall and paint splatter (okay, NOT the paint splatter, as my painter husband doesn't splatter. Me, on the other hand, should NOT give up MY dayjob!). We have incentive to get things bought by the end of the month (tax rebates and such) even if we can't really get many walls taken down or cupboards up until we return in March. So, here's a few ideas of things and looks I like.

Who: Me. It's ALWAYS about me anyways! :)
What: Ran 3 miles
Where: in the basement, on my treadmill
When: Monday and tonight. I missed yesterday.
Why: Because I'm doing it again.... remember me talking about doing a marathon last year, and everything kinda went south once I went for a 13k run in -26 weather that kicked my trash royally REAL LIFE occurred and I didn't know how to balance pain from more pain important things? Dating and running was fun, but selling houses and driving 2 hours each way to visit the man I love wasn't conducive to long-term Saturday runs. So, I'm gonna try again. Whether or NOT I go to the marathon, training for it is the MAIN goal. That way, my WWWIIIDDDEEE LLLOOOAAADDD overly scrumptious butt will at least fit into my skinny skirt again. Don't even say it. Yes, I don't fit. I tried it on this morning, and couldn't get it past my too many glasses of eggnog, a few too many cookies, thunder thighs, lovely saddlebags. I shall be running. A lot. Thanks to Becka, who introduced me to this site a bit over a year ago, Mr. Higdon can kiss my jiggly butt will become much better of a friend soon. Him, AND my daily inspiration from my running calendar.

I'm gonna be making a 'goal' board. And pasting it to the wall above the treadmill for discouragement inspiration. Pictures and quotes and things that I love and want to be. So, when I'm running 10 miles inside, I won't be TOTALLY bored of the white wall and my iPod on repeat with this song!

And don't forget to play Word Verification Wednesday, where you make up a meaning to that nonsense word the computer makes you retype before leaving a comment.

Not Me Monday- X-Weighted blog posts

Although it's NOT Monday, and I totally should NOT be doing a NOT ME post, I don't know if I have the energy to do so.

I think, for a few times in the next six months, I'll NOT be 'posting' blogs that I have already posted on the X-weighted site. They do NOT have this 'blog' section, so seeing as blogging ONCE a day seems tough enough for me, I am in NO WAY blogging twice a day! :)

This weekend Will and I did NOT have another AWESOME weekend alone. We dropped of the 4 kids, then went to a movie with Sin and Vegan (Sherlock Holmes). It was a good enough movie.

Saturday, I did NOT wake up much too early, and Will and I went to a rehearsal for the community play that we are part of. I'm playing a very small role as a nun in The Sound Of Music, with a few little dancing or speaking parts here and there. Will is a German Soldier and a ballroom dancer.

Then, we did NOT spend the day going out for lunch, playing my new guitar at home, reading our book, watching movies, and just being us.

I also do NOT have difficulty walking down stairs, after the fitness assessment we did on Saturday night. I do NOT have to start running again. I am totally NOT unenthusiastic about the treadmill and me spending that much time together for the next 4 months until it's nicer outside. But I am NOT excited about getting back into a better shape than 'round'.


(X-Weighted's BLOG, posted on the Website)

Ha. Starting this challenge brings me back to the first time I stood on the scale with Paul... my fat hung out over the pants that had a busted button and I was feeling soooo yucky and sad.

So, doing the fitness assessment again this weekend, and starting yet ANOTHER 6 month weightloss regime is a bit surreal.

But this time?

I have clothes that fit me. And mostly, I am happy. This time, I don't have 50 or more pounds to lose. But I do have a few post-wedding pounds that have crept up these past 4 months and a few that stayed on with the stress of divorce. I'm not okay with being that yo-yo girl, so National Challenge or not, I knew it was time to get a move on and start losing this weight.

It's still the same as it was when I was on the show- weightloss isn't a secret. It's diet and exercise. That's pretty easy, right? No pills, no starving. Just simply living the way we already know we SHOULD be living.

UNFORTUNATELY, in marrying Mr. Wonderful, I also married Mr. Metabolism. Will can eat whatever he wants, and whenever he wants. Oh. And, he's also Mr. Sweettooth. Curses to him! :) He's going to be my biggest supporter (not because he thinks I need to lose weight, but because he knows how important it is to ME to be fit and healthy), but I also know he will be the first to unintentionally sabotage my efforts with his "let's stop for burgers' or 'let's make some nachos and cuddle' attitude. And I'm so newlywed, and he's so cute when he suggests it, that how can I say No?! ;)

Six Word Saturday- JOIN !!

Sign Up. Lose Weight. Too Easy!

Just reminding everyone that today and tomorrow are the two days you have to sign up for X-Weighted's National Challenge. Although you may not live in the cities that are hosting a 'registration', you can still sign up online and keep track yourselves, including the weigh-ins and measuring and even the fitness/obstacle courses.

www.xweighted.com

Hopefully I get to see some of you on the forums! Whether you have 10 pounds or 100 pounds you'd like to lose, let's get to those goals together!


*For more Six Word Saturday (SWS), visit Cate.

From Fatter to Flatter

So, remember when I told you guys about how X-Weighted was doing a "where are they now" type of thing? I guess I was a bit confusing in my explanations, because people keep asking when it's going to air. But, to clarify, it's not another TV show-- it's a website they've launched with ALL our updates.

So, if you haven't found it already, check out The New X-Weighted Website. (www dot xweighted dot com) And, while you're there, be sure to check out the link to the participants, where, under season 3, you can see what they wrote about me. And any other participants you're curious about.

Seeing as the New Year is a time when everyone jumps on the bandwagon to lose weight, you may also want to visit the link that talks about the National Challenge. Will and I were snooping around the website the other day, when we clicked on that link. Surprised the heck out of me to see that MY profile is the poster for the challenge! I was so flattered. (That's FLATtered, not FATtered!)

So, if you're needing someone to be accountable to in your own personal weightloss endeavors, join the challenge. You have to join on ONLY January 9th or 10th!!!!!! No wasting time. And look at all the cool things you can win! JOIN!!! :) I'm probably gonna join myself, just to shed these last few pounds. I'm not sure what my American Friends can do-- if they can sign up or not, but hey, commit to me here in the comment section, and we'll ALL keep each other focused.