I know, it isn't the same blog. This space, and Daisyhalos, more specifically, used to be witty, funny, honest and... well, REGULARLY written in!
I don't know how much I'll be blogging anyways, but I figured since I have about 10 minutes a day, I can at least 'catch up' each night. If only just to keep a record of life again.
There's lots of good reasons why I don't blog now. But there's a few not-good ones.
A few nights ago, on Will's and my 'meet-a-versary' (when we met 2 years ago), I went through old blogs on Daisyhalos. Chris was still living in my home when I pretty much broke his heart the way he broke mine months before. It was hard to read the confusion I was going through, and I am so glad that I kept an honest and heartfelt record of my thoughts.
I watched the things I overcame-- and how I did it. I read about the struggles to make decisions, and then the peace I felt when I made the (sometimes heart-wrenching) choices. I am huge on forgiveness and finding peace with people, and I noticed that trend back then in my life.
I wish I still blogged that way-- the way I did before Sarah. In my life I've never had such a thorn I cannot remove and I don't know how to let go of the hurt I have felt from her.
How do you let go of something you never wanted to really grab hold of in the first place?
3 comments:
Letting go can be a process...a LOOOONNNNGGG one. Just try to keep in mind that it won't be forever and there will come a day where you will finally be able to let go. I have had some things that I had a hard time letting go of in my life but I found that when I prayed with sincere earnesty that I was able to let go of those things. Not always right away, but eventually the Lord can and will soften your heart and it won't be such a thorn. I hope that helps. That's the best I've got right now : )
I agree with Mandy. Give it to God.
And although it's given that some things are easier to forgive than others, I admire that you are trying and wanting that peace in your life....I think that's the first step to letting go.
And I hope you keep blogging...even if the posts are short and far between...I love your sense of humour and outlook on life :)
I miss your blogs... and this post made me cry. I had an experience last night... Brought up some "thorns" from my past too.
I don't have any answers per se, but I have sort of been living by the rule of 3 R's lately. Reaction. Response. Resilience. I am a huge avid that it is better to be PROactive than REactive. However, because we can't manage other people, sometimes we get blind-sided without the chance to be PRO-active to begin with.
So, obviously, our first instinct is our REACTION. I say, embrace it. If your reaction is to cry, get hysterical, get upset, angry, wheveter, then call a spade a spade and do it. Get it out of your system. But, once that is over, cool down, and think things through and then make a plan to RESPOND. A lot of how we respond to trials in our life help define us. Again -- the TRIAL doesn't define us, but how we RESPOND does. This is where your faith comes into great play. And finally, be RESILIENT. This is easier said than done sometimes. To not let things get us down. To endure to the end. Let go and let God. Proverbs 3:5-6.
I believe that your story is one of these 3 R's... You are living proof of someone who is striving to live as He would have you live. Your heart is right, and one day, perhaps not even soon, but one day the thorn will be gone. It may leave a permanent scar, but it won't be in your side. You'll know when that time has come. You will feel that burden lifted and you will feel at complete peace about it.
{{HUGS}}
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