It was the second or third coldest day OF MY LIFE!!
Last night in bed, while portions of my thighs and a lot of things were going bump in the night...:P, Will and I heard a loud, unfamiliar sound. Which, in normal midnight fashion, usually means a youngun' is falling out of the top bunkbed, a cat is catching a "mighty", or a teenager is getting off the cellphone. But this wasn't any of those sounds, and once the screaming was over, Will got dressed and out of bed to go check it out. (okay, there was no screaming... at least, not from being scared! lol)
This sound came from where our garage is, though, and Will remembered that he had forgotten to lock the garage door, so we were slightly worried. But there were no other sounds than the loud BAMM...
I sat in bed. Nekkid and wondering, if any of those freaks in my garage overtake Will and his mighty power, I should probably put some clothes on. Because, if the freaks are smart, they'll come in the house and try to take my virginity, and here I am, all sitting there like an unwrapped present. At least find some pants or... a pair of pretty, matching underthings. Because, if they DO kill me, (which they inevitably will,) I don't want my Mom to hear about how the ambulance arrived and I was wearing orange silky panties with a blue lace bra. TACKY much!?!
And then I realized my kids were also in immediate danger. Would I call 9-1-1 BEFORE the guys pillage the village that is my home, and THEN gather my little munchkins around me to 'mother-bear' them and keep them safe under my housecoat? But then... well, then we're like sitting ducks, all of my kiddos under my proverbial wing, and they kill us all at the same time? And what if they only wanted to hurt me, and my kids were woken up and gathered into my room by me, just to end up having to watch!?!? Or do I gather monkeys first, and THEN call 9-1-1? Oh, the dilemma!
Or, do I just act like I'm sleeping? Maybe they only want my super-expensive jewellery that I keep in.. um.. my shoe closet in the basement.
I tell you, I thought of all these horrible scenarios within the AGONIZINGLY long minutes that Will was investigating. And I won't say that I did, or did NOT pre-emptively call 9-1...just in case I heard a gunshot or screaming from Will and could easily just push the last 1 before being assured SOMEONE would know of my impending demise.
Will found nothing.
Not even so much as a mouse.
No footprints in the snow. No water pooling inside the garage from melting shoe-prints.
So, what made such a loud THUD that Will and Icould overhear it while getting busie stopped what we were doing and didn't move a muscle or change a position for a full minute to hear any other scary sounds. Not an easy feat, given the whole "not changing positions part!" lol
OK ok.
My parents read this blog.
In all seriousness, it was scary!
This morning, Will discovered the culprit. It was coming from the garage. It was a loud, unfamiliar 'THUD'.
Two lessons learned:
Do NOT leave popcans in the below-freezing garage overnight.
Second- do NOT buy this type of pop.. It's gross. Which is why it's in the garage, unloved.
Last night in bed, while portions of my thighs and a lot of things were going bump in the night...:P, Will and I heard a loud, unfamiliar sound. Which, in normal midnight fashion, usually means a youngun' is falling out of the top bunkbed, a cat is catching a "mighty", or a teenager is getting off the cellphone. But this wasn't any of those sounds, and once the screaming was over, Will got dressed and out of bed to go check it out. (okay, there was no screaming... at least, not from being scared! lol)
This sound came from where our garage is, though, and Will remembered that he had forgotten to lock the garage door, so we were slightly worried. But there were no other sounds than the loud BAMM...
I sat in bed. Nekkid and wondering, if any of those freaks in my garage overtake Will and his mighty power, I should probably put some clothes on. Because, if the freaks are smart, they'll come in the house and try to take my virginity, and here I am, all sitting there like an unwrapped present. At least find some pants or... a pair of pretty, matching underthings. Because, if they DO kill me, (which they inevitably will,) I don't want my Mom to hear about how the ambulance arrived and I was wearing orange silky panties with a blue lace bra. TACKY much!?!
And then I realized my kids were also in immediate danger. Would I call 9-1-1 BEFORE the guys pillage the village that is my home, and THEN gather my little munchkins around me to 'mother-bear' them and keep them safe under my housecoat? But then... well, then we're like sitting ducks, all of my kiddos under my proverbial wing, and they kill us all at the same time? And what if they only wanted to hurt me, and my kids were woken up and gathered into my room by me, just to end up having to watch!?!? Or do I gather monkeys first, and THEN call 9-1-1? Oh, the dilemma!
Or, do I just act like I'm sleeping? Maybe they only want my super-expensive jewellery that I keep in.. um.. my shoe closet in the basement.
I tell you, I thought of all these horrible scenarios within the AGONIZINGLY long minutes that Will was investigating. And I won't say that I did, or did NOT pre-emptively call 9-1...just in case I heard a gunshot or screaming from Will and could easily just push the last 1 before being assured SOMEONE would know of my impending demise.
Will found nothing.
Not even so much as a mouse.
No footprints in the snow. No water pooling inside the garage from melting shoe-prints.
So, what made such a loud THUD that Will and I
OK ok.
My parents read this blog.
In all seriousness, it was scary!
This morning, Will discovered the culprit. It was coming from the garage. It was a loud, unfamiliar 'THUD'.
Two lessons learned:
Do NOT leave popcans in the below-freezing garage overnight.
Second- do NOT buy this type of pop.. It's gross. Which is why it's in the garage, unloved.
4 comments:
That was a whole lotta sex talk - I thought this post was just going to be about cold pop!
nuh uh-- I talked about killing. And expensive jewellery.
And I managed to do the ENTIRE post without once saying 'panties'.
I KNOW, right!?!!!
That *IS* an accomplishment for you, Debbi, true.
Good job! :)
Lie... I JUST found it. "orange silky panties". DOH!!!
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